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Who are you and what are you doing here?
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Exclusive, official, 100% real: Gavin Newsom endorsing Cameluh Harris
Hi, I’m Gavin Newsom, the governor of California.
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Where are my Milk Duds?
- Her:
- Did you eat my Milk Duds?
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The mainstream media today
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to bite her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
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Try Abrain (advertisement)
I used to believe everything I’d see on the news. But that’s before I discovered Abrain.
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It’s a fine line
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
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Weight loss goal
Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
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Hidden talents
I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.
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Jewish telegram
Jewish telegram: “Begin worrying. Details to follow.”
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Exercise helps
Exercise helps you with decision-making. It’s true. I went for a run this morning and decided I’m never going again.
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In the beginning …
In the Beginning,
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The meaning of Passover
Short summary of every Jewish Holiday:
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Finally at peace
Now OJ can rest knowing that his wife’s killer is dead.
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The meaning of Easter
A Sunday School teacher asked her class of young children a very simple question, or so she thought. She asked, “What is Easter?”
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Better for the planet
This van is electric and better for the planet
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Super Bowl
My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.
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Mount Rushmore
I present you Mount Rushmore before it was carved. This picture is unpresidented.
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Modern times
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
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Oriental wisdom
That’s not right.
Sum Ting Wong
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Government still goes bankrupt
“The government needs to take care of everything!””
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